7 December 2015

I dont know whom to complain with...
Its monday morning..
My Heads hurt due to lack of sleep
Both of my arms hurt due to carrying heavy stuff too much
Nose itchy and hurt as well gara2 kena habuk smlm..
I work too hard kali on last weekend
Now my body felt the effect already huhu
#pain
#Tired
#Sleepy

OVERRR

Its been so long since im blogging! Teehee! And looking back at my last blog update. Only 1 Word can describe it! That is "OVERRR" Overnyer Emo Ahahaha.. Lol didnt realise i hate my life that much that time..probably not a good day huh? Well im Older now and l had learned to be grateful for what i have. Gosh again So EMO! Haha!

There are times...

There are times where i just dont feel like doing anything apart from doing lazy stuff and this are the times that i feel like that.. Hmm.. soo moodless, probably because i realize there is nothing i can do to set myself free so that i could doing things i want the most. Felt like i am currently grieving for myself. Grieving for this nasib that i had. Hmm..still feeling sad, but i had to pretend to feel nothing in front of them cause if they knew how i felt right now, they would not even pity for me instead feeling angry that i want to do things that they dont allowed me to. They do not know that they are currently taking my happiness away from me. They just cared about their feeling..How bout mine? they surely does not give the fuck about it i bet. i know i sound like such a brat right now, but i dont give a damn, cause this is how i felt deep inside. There are times where i felt like i could go crazy and i just felt like i want to kill myself. This stress to me are unbearable, and it will take time for me to shake this thing off.. but its hard to shake it off if i am here as if being locked up and i am unable to meet with my friend. They are the only one who could make me happy. Around them i could just be happy and all the problem seems like doesnt exist when im around them. But now..its already cuti..so i cant go anywhere, im stuck here facing all the shits that they put me through. They certainly do not think whether their act could hurt me so badly emotionally and mentally. Thank goodness im still normal and i can cope it without doing silly thing such as taking drugs or taking alcohol things like that. There is nothing i can do expect keep it in me and the only place i could let it out is here. But still, its not enough, i still feel suffocating deep inside. i know im an ungrateful bitch and people who read this probably think im a cry baby or something for whining this sort of stuff. but let them be. i dont care....

The truth's is

The truth's is i never really like my life. I have been it hated since like forever. What i hunger the most in life is freedom. I seriously hate it when people dont give me my freedom. seriously i hate how my life is not like most of other people who can freely go wherever they want. Sometime i rather having no family at all if this is the life that i have been given. Why do they have to do this to me. I hate it! i hate it soo much! i wanna fight them im afraid i get hurt even more. there is no point of arguing when in the end all you get is more heart breaks more stress and all. i seriously hate it. im now like seriously wanted to scream my heart out. scream until im satisfied, scream until all this hurts in my heart gone. Gone with the scream. but sadly im afraid they could hear it and then would hurts my heart even more. i hate this life ever since when i am little. This thing which they called love are so hurts it hurts me deeply. i think that if my heart could really bleed right now because of heart ache it already bleeding heavily... why why why i cant have life like others. is this what they called Love??? then love sucks i rather they dont love me at all if this is the case. people may called me ungrateful...yes i am seriously ungrateful! i dont give a damn. cause right now my heart is veryyy hurts and there is nothin i can do but to just spit it out here. shit...macam maw maki2 saja bah...seriously pukima punya kehidupan..sometime i rather die than to live this such an awful life. i know my life is not the worse and there  are other people are more suffering than mine. but still i hate it soo much as if i wanna run away but i know what are the consequence is so i have to kept this hurtful feeling.. seriously i felt like want to cry out loud shout out loud for my freedom.. why does life have to be this suffocating!!!!!! arggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Done with Degree Semester 5

Yippeee~~

Finally all the studying for test, exam, and doing assignment is finally over and another 1 more semester and i will end my Degree courses. Im very happy but sad at the same time, i dont realize that by this thing to be end means i will now rarely gonna meet with my classmate, i am surely gonna miss them. i love them so much and thinking about not being able to gathered together again make me so sad seriously. I think they are the best classmate i ever had. I dont know when we are able to gathered together again someday. Huu.. However, life must go on. People come people go, but i think if we truly are friends we could always meet up right :) I will never forget them.

Hee, end about that part, now what i am worried is my practical, serious shit i am so nervous, im so scared that im gonna mess it up. Since i know im not the kind of person who have the smartest brain. im slow! my brain is slow! i dont know whether i can keep up with this. seriously im Scared! Not to mention we will be doing our own research paper! by our own, as in by MYSELF!?? Oh My Gashh! im not sure im capable of it. Seriously im lazy to think about it.

 Anyway just finish my last paper exam yesterday and i hope i can pass all of my subject because if i dont,,, there will be NO PRACTICAL for me. yeah you can read it clearly right... NO PRACTICAL! Hoho.. im surely cannot imagine and i dont even want to imagine about failing any of my subject. This i give it to god to handle it. I have done my part, and i probably havent given all my effort to it. BUT i still hope to Pass it with a good result! Who doesnt want this right??? right?? HEe...

So i have only about 1 and a half week for holidaying, and im gonna start my practical on 3rd February which is gonna be very soon from now! huuu....my holiday! its so short! i dont like it! im tired! and i dont think there are any rest for me since i need to think about my research topic!!! aarghh...im stress, nervous and most of it i am freaking out right now...Hee i know i think to much~ but i cant help it..hoho..

Anyhow, good luck to me~ huhu..

My feeling today (16.01.2014)

Hello~
Its been raining almost every day these day.
Luckily today there aren't any rain.
Today i felt like the sun shine so pretty i dont know why its just,
and it make me happy for no reason, the air breeze are also nice, i like it a lot.
Seriously for the first time in my life these are the prettiest sun shine i ever seen or probably just realize.
wish i could take picture of what i feel that time, but yeah its hard to explain. Probably i had just learn to love
the little thing in life that make this bitter world a pretty place.

Another thing that i felt pretty today is myself! Haha!
dont know why i just do.
even though im not like other girl who is as slim as f**k which i often jealous of. And with my large belly, hugh legs and thigh,round and wide faces with pimples and pimples scars....
But today im grateful, hihi..
I guess its normal that human will never be satisfied for what they had, some girl who is even skinnier than me still think them as if they are the fattest people on earth..hehe! well same for me which i know there a people even larger than me, but still i think im as big as them.
But, but, but...
today im seriously grateful and i wish i will keep up this positive vibe of mine~ Hee...
Enjoy your life people, stop wanting what others have, but if you really want it, do something about it, get it, dont just sit there and think or jealous about what they have.
This is also well an advise to myself i guess, cause we are the same, me and you are human, again its normal to be like me. But i read some picture during searching at google, it said "DREAM DONT WORK, UNLESS YOU DO." So do something about your dreams people, and i will making sure that i does it to :)

What i want i will get it myself. Fighthing!!

Happy New Year!! 2014~~
Woot! Woot!

Its a new year, needs getting bigger,
last year wishlist still some of it not yet accomplish.
This new year, imma gonna get what i want by myself.
Im not gonna rely on my parent.
They never really took it serious when i want something.
Therefore, im gonna get it by myself, using my own money and my own effort.
They always dont want me to do it on my own..but they never really have help much either.
Better dont give a damn and just to what i want to do..
i dont know where am i gonna get that money, but i will..Amen!!

Actually...

Actually that video that i post on facebook was dedicated to that person.
Hoping that he would hear it.
Even though he dont know that song is for him..
Still i want him to listen..
im dying to get his attention..
but i dont think he even could listen to it,
he had been sick for awhile and its been awhile since i saw him online on facebook..
hmm..im worried bout him, but yet i cant do nothing.
im nobody and it should remain as the way it is..
but still i cant help from missing him..
i need to forget this feeling..hmm..

Stupid randomness..hoho

Why?
i just posted myself playing guitar while singing at facebook..
if i have a great voice its okaay..but then again my voice are sumbang...
therefore,kedapatan laah saya ada suara sumbang law ginie...hahhahaa
alallalalaaa....
i had just shame myself in front of everyone through Facebook..
good job megan..good  job..hehe! stupid!

Love is....

LOVE IS...
 Beautiful,
Sweet,
Pain,
Bitter,
Suffocating,
Stupid,
Confusing,
Jealousy,
Killing me softly,
Something that makes my heart goes duguem,dugeum,dugeum

Oh feelings..please go away~

have you ever fall in love with someone you shouldnt all in love with?

i did, i had done it tons of time..huu..

why do this thing happen to me all the time??

even if we do get together, it wont be last forever cause we are never gonna be with each other..

even if we will be happy together, the result will still be the same..i will keep hurting people if i kept this feelings huu..

Why do i always have to fall with someone who im not supposed to fall with??

gosh.. i just cant resist the temptation..huu..

i know this is only a temporary feelings and i believe i can shake this thing off..but for now..

its just hard..

even knowing he got flaws, still i cant help to but still like him..

Why do i have to have this feeling..

this is my weakness, i could easily fall in with someone..

Why do i always do this?? Why?? huu...

Stupid feelings...

2013 Finally being nice to me

Again Hola to my anonymous reader and visitor which include to those who visit my blog not for the purpose of reading it but for posting some advertisement that i wont even bother to read...hehe! teehee~~

Anyway all i want to tell i that, yup my 2013 year are finally much more better than before. Or shall i say my semester 5 days are better as compared to last year which have much thing to be complain of..

This semester is better, i felt loved by my friends and again felt lucky to have friend who makes me smile and forget my problem every now and then when im sad. Well of course my life problem never end, but at least it is not as hard as in the earlier 2013. ohya about me cannot forget the feeling or something like that on my previous post, its turn out i've move on and i do not feel any feelings anymore, meaning that, i finally able to forget that feeling and moved on and dont give a damn about that person who makes me feels that way~~ Thank goodness i am good in not give a damn on something easily.

However even though my life graph are on the high state, still there a some problem i faced these days. among them are such as bad facial day where i got an acne infection on my face, damn that is one of the worse experience i had these year...shit..its not only make my face felt itchy,hurt and uncomfortable, it also makes my confident level extremely low that i was covering my face all the time during on campus..thank goodness it is much better now. apart from that the problem well not really problem but more like cabaran that i am facing now is that i have tons of assigmement to do and i have feeling again with person who i am not suppose to have feeling with...huhu why????

Why do i always felt for someone who i am not supposed to felt with..who i am unable to be with? whyy...why do i have  to face this temptation?? no.. i dont wish to hurts any more feelings..i have done enough of it..i have hurt soo many persons feeling already...huu..no how i wish this feeling would go away..but seems like it getting stronger and wont go away as i want it to be..huhu..Therefore i hope this is only a temporary feelings that im able to let it go as like i had always did..


okay enough about all of this nonsense..i want to add on that this is my last semester for having class and next semester i will be having my internship and then boom..im done with my degree.

therefore i wish i could rest for awhile while waiting for my convo and color my hair pink!woot woot! hhehe.. :)
okay then that its for today most longest post..this probably the last for this year if im lazy..if im not..i will be posting more more n more

turning table

Hye anonymous reader,

 

I dont know why, but its seems this semester its like everybody turn to me or in other words all depend on me when it turn to making sure the group assignment are moving and everybody ask to me what we gonna do about the assignment and its seems like everyone expect me the one who supposed to finished it.. 

Hmm.. its all of sudden i am the one who need to done it all. hmm.. when im in my diploma i used to be the one who just need to follow  my group instruction but now..its seems like everybody are waiting for me to make the instruction. and honestly, i seriously would rather prefer when i am the one who waiting on instruction instead of giving on instruction.. are this what we called as turning table? hmm.. i dont know..okey.. done with this.. need to do my assignment.. adios..

Little Dreams

I dont know since when i have that dreams.

that dreams of becoming a rock band vocalist aka rockstar..aiseh! hehe! probably since high school maybe..hehe..

But guess too bad its just a dream..

The only moment i can feel how is it like to be rockstar is when im on  karaoke with my friends. That's the only place where i can loose myself up and become uncontrollable singing..hehe! Singing as if im in a drugs Hehe! and that's what my friend always said to me.. hehe! they often said that when we go karaoke together i was like a mad person on a drugs while singing..hehe! But one thing for sure is that i lighten up the stage...muhahaha..which makes everyone entertain regardless whether im making fun of myself..muhahaha..to me i couldnt care less as long as we had fun fun fun! wuhuu.. 

Moral of the story is?? its no wrong in having a dream or angan2?? can we? hehe!

Never mind what people think or thought about us cause.....

I DONT CARE!!I LOVE IT!!~ :D -ICONA POP- :D

Never Should really

Guys,
We should never really easily attach to someone cause in the end or probably on some occasion you might get your heart crush and the worst part of it is the awkward moment when you have to meet them every day and pretend like you dont care but deep down inside your heart are like potato that being smashed minus that delicious taste cause it sucks so bad. Damn..

Even though your life moves on, but the feelings still wont change and you cannot help but too feel awful about it. That's is why sometime we should not be too friendly with everyone cause to keep up with them is sometime too hard and you just cant help yourself being hurt easily. And because of that it suck to be me. Why? cause i cannot help myself from being friendly cause that is just me and because of that also makes me hurt easily and plus become BUNTU and dont know what to do or to handle stuff. Try to just pretending nothing wrong, but deep down inside, you just cant help it being down, down, down.

Probably its just me and my own feeling, but i dont know...Teehee..

2013 The downfall of Marion Megan

Hello guys,

2013 seems like not a pretty good year for me.
regardless with family or with friends seems like everything all went wrong.
Its like if looking into my life graph, my status is currently at the bottom line.hoho
i dont know how will i able to go through with all of these.
Plus even with my studies i got some constraint with..Haish..
Plus again even my skin,my weight..everything gone wrong..hoho..getting more acne, more fatter and all the more of the bad thing. Hoho..
 Thus, i can conclude that my life graph on the 1st quarter and 2nd quarter of 2013 are totally declining..haha~!
See.. i can even make a graph out of it..
Oh well, all i can do is just go through it all with the companion of music.. which makes me feels a lot better every time im on the bottom line.

Beauty

Some says Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. It's about having a pretty mind, pretty heart and pretty soul. But sometime even i doubt whether i had it all.

Semester Break day 2

Hello strangers,

Anyway today is my second day of holiday, so last night i was actually thinking to do manicure by using the water marble nail style which seems to be fail. I dont know what's wrong but, maybe either i used the wrong technique or my nail polisher is a cheap stuff Hoho.. I was soo disappointed with it cause i already prepared all the thing only to know that i had fail~ hoho.

This is how water marble nail process looks like:

Sources: Google

So, instead of doing that, i watch the movie Urban legend :Bloody Mary on the Cinemax channel with my grandmother and my cousin. Which is fun and scary at the same time. In the end of the movie, i ended up feeling empty. I dont know why, but that thing always happen when i finished watching movies.

So that's it for today~ Hopes tomorrow i can try again the trick. Adios Migos~  

Overall Semester Review

Hello~ and again wishing everyone happy new year 2013..
Any my first semester as a degree marketing student finally over on Monday with the end of my final exam for the semester. What can i say about my first time taking a degree student exam is that surprisingly i am much more rajin than when i am at my Diploma days. How difference is it is, i study so late until 4 am and so   on..

Well i do really much more rajin during degree time i guess.. even during only when we gonna have our test pun i was studying like as if i was gonna take the exam. Well i hopes all my effort could gives me a good result! Cuz i am now trying to be Dean List every semester! You know why?? Cause i think its time for me to be something you know. Honestly speaking, i am very much slow on study but its all due to my struggling effort that i am able to be where i am right now. Besides, I think during Diploma im not giving my very best much. Therefore i want to see where can i go by increase my study effort. Hehe!  Well i can see my effort by looking at my on going assessment marks which some of it i was able to be the most highest in the class and damn~ i was soo happy, cause its the first time i am able to do THAT! :D Bam! i am soo Happy! So I wish i can gain more next sem.. Hee..

However, for this semester i think even though all my test are kind of okey but my time management are sort of seriously messed up. its like everything we do are soo mixed up or should i say its like we dont have time. Anyway it end up making our assignment to be sent late, and i was seriously not satisfied with it. Cause damn seriously its all CINCAI...Hantam-hantam hantar sedja asal siap~ huhu.. Therefore next semester i want to try my best to do my assignment early soo that i dont have to worry to much without able to hand it out on time! hoho..So that a lesson for me and you cause seriously due to that, it has gives me so much hardship that you simply want to know it. So that is my new resolution or my goal for next semester which is to reduce  procrastinating my job.

Happy New year 2013!

Hello anonymous people~
happy new year!
its seems that last year i've been abandon my blog too much
There have been much thing happen last year...which is soo mixed up!
There are 2 big event happen last year which is i finished my diploma and entering degree at the same time..also done with my diploma convocation..then separating with my diploma friend and meeting my new degree friend which is utterly awesome all of them. Love them a lot!

I really loved my new classmate! all of them..cherished them much!
And our class also..everybody was actually are just getting to know each other and are new to each other but Magically even though  its only has been 1 semester but yet we are already feels like a family! :D that what i love about our class! i loike it damn much!! argh..hahaha.. Happy Much and feel soo lucky to have them as my classmate.. Well even though i feel sad leaving my diploma friend..but yeah i believe everything have a reason and im very satisfied with it!

Enough talking about them.. Now im going to talk about last year new year eve's which is the best new year celebration ever! well the story is soo long and i dont know where to begin with! so just wanna tell about that la..hahaha..

well i hope this year i could spent more time with my beloved blogs which have been abandon long enough! sorry baby~ huhu!